I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
