why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize