I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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