I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
