My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i barfeds in our rink
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
