I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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