I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
