remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
