Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
