The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize