Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize