I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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