watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
