Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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