Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
