I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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