Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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