This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize