haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize