that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
