We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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