FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
