Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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