Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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