Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
