A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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