i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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