remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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