if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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