My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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