i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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