U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
