For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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