grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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