i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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