My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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