We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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