If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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