he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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