She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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