I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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