Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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