I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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