so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
