We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
