ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
