I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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