Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
