So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
