I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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