But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am one with the molecules
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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