ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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