He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
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At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
