You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
