you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
