You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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